


nobody thinks what i think

by softami



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: :c, Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Anorexia, F/F, How to Tag 101, Previous Abusive Relationship, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, UUUUUGH, im a sad person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 02:10:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19285969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softami/pseuds/softami
Summary: "Tamara," Tori's tired voice cuts through a thick fog of self-deprecation and loathing as she asks, "you know you can tell me anything, right?" and it's dipped in an unfamiliar softness Tamara hasn't ever heard before (from her, at least)."Right," she replies.But she'd rather not.





	nobody thinks what i think

**Author's Note:**

> TW: UNDER-EATING/ANOREXIA, DEPRESSION, OTC MEDS BEING MISUSED.

It's always drinking 'til you're drunk and vomiting it up until you can't feel anything anymore- at least for Tamara. This is the usual for her, painfully sulking as she locks herself away in her bedroom and refusing to let anyone else in. She plucks at her blue-nearly-black nails and chips away at the paint, looking across the room from her bed to the empty bottles of bittersweet alcohol she saved for  ~~times like this~~ special occasions.

...where did the alcohol go, you might ask? Forget it.

That's the answer she gives everyone else, anyway, why try anything different?

Y'know, sometimes people will come knocking on her bedroom door, startling her from her depressive state and asks if she's okay for probably the billionth time that day. Week. Month. Year. How long has this been going on? How long has this fuck-up been sad, again? Far too long, Tamara thinks. 

Probably since...

Every once in a while she'll drag her underweight body out to dinner with Ell, Matilda, and Tori who give her not-so-subtle looks of worry as she pokes at her food and has a single bite every five minutes. It's the best she can do.

"Hey, Matilda, pass the salt?" Ell asks. Without speaking, she does and lazily picks up vegetables from her plate, smells it, and makes a revolted face that would  _usually_ make Ell laugh, but her mind is filled with nothing but new anxieties for Tamara. 

"Got any maple syrup you can pass around, Ell? This stuff is gross!"

Tori makes a bewildered face, "The fuck? Who in the world puts maple syrup on anything but pancakes or waffles?"

"...Buddy from the movie  _Elf?_ "

Tori holds a butter knife up in a threatening way as she nearly pounces on Matilda from across the table. The restaurant around them is shooting strange looks in their direction, probably because one is about to stab another, all while the two other girls at the table seem unphased by this. That is until, Ell picks up on these looks.

"Guys! People are staring at us! Quit it!" and so they do.

The three start an argument about something like  _maple syrup, ruining dinner,_ and  _how they're going_ to get _kicked out._

Tamara tolerates this until everything becomes to fuzzed and bright and far too sharp for her to focus on anything but herself. She rubs her temples desperately, trying to forget everything but she suddenly stands, and nearly shouts, 

"I'm- I'm going outside for a bit, okay, guys? I just-" she gasps, "need to clear my head..."

She does so and slumps outside, behind the old diner.

* * *

When she thinks everything's calmed she still doesn't go back in. Doesn't ever want to see their pitiful expressions.  _Oh, Tamara, let me help you up, and maybe we could watch a movie later?_ Sad sacks trying to make her feel better, as if that was even possible.

She's tried, with pills and alcoholic drinks mixed together and she treated them as if they were just common cold medicine along with water. She's blacked out before, waking up in a hot mess, drooling and having no clear memory of what happened the previous day, and not one person asked about her. Just how she likes it.

Suddenly, a short figure appears next to her, slumping down more angelically than what she originally did.

"Tamara," Tori's tired voice cuts through a thick fog of self-deprecation and loathing as she asks, "you know you can tell me anything, right?" and it's dipped in an unfamiliar softness Tamara hasn't ever heard before (from her, at least).

"Right," she replies.

But she'd rather not.

"Why  _you_ of all people, though, offer to help me? I expected Ell."

She's silent for a minute. "I don't know, Tam," she sighs. "I guess I just really want to see you better."

Tamara chuckles a sad laugh to herself, getting up and brushing off her black jeans. "Nice job trying, but I don't need any help-" she says, on the brink of tears when she runs away.

 

**Author's Note:**

> holy MOLY tell me if you like it babs  
> i literally don't know where this is going but also  
> 1\. tell me if i made grammar mistakes  
> 2\. if you see any plot holes ****please**** tell me


End file.
